As I had mentioned in my previous post, after being single for 6 years, I have been in a new relationship for the past 16 months. We ‘met’ online but he is an old friend of my brothers’ so I very much knew who he was and fancied the pants off him.
When I received the first message from him saying hello and asking how I was, I honestly thought he was just being friendly and saying hello as he knew my brother, little did I know that yes he was being friendly but that the feelings were mutual and he wanted to ask me out on a date. I remember how nervous I was on our first date, I ordered a salad!! I mean salad!! And I didn’t finish it all. Now we go out for dinner and I’ll have the supersize bargain bucket and drop the sauce down my top, but in the early days we were trying to sell ourselves and I couldn’t bear for him to think of me any less than that of a lady. We even joke about how good we were in the early days and how comfortable we are in each others company now, that we can be ourselves and not have to be on our best behaviour all the time.
Dating when you already have children is very hard but thanks to the grandparents, they would babysit so we could go out on dates, I thought it was important for it to be just us establishing a relationship before we involved the kids. He has a grown up son at university so we only had to take my children into account. Only once it was getting serious did I tell my children that I had met someone but he didn’t meet them straight away, I really wanted to do the right thing with the kids, it had been me and them for the past 6 years and now there was a new man on the scene. I needed them to be secure in the fact that he wasn’t going to come in and take me away from them. So I introduced him gradually, he would come over for dinner or he would do the school run with me in the afternoon then stay for dinner, but he never stayed the night. He started to stay longer when the kids asked him to stay or when we went out for the day.
Over time he has become a huge part of my little family, but we still continue to live apart, we don’t feel the need to rush into living together and if we’re completely honest with each other, I think we just like our independence a bit too much. We have talked about moving in together in the future but for now we are all very happy with our set-up, it works for us.
If someone had told me 2 years ago that I would be as happy as I am today, I would never have believed them, I truly thought I’d be on my own forever. Now, no relationship is perfect, mine definitely isn’t, we have debates, disagreements, sometimes even falling outs, but we talk about it and air our concerns and feelings, we don’t shout or argue about it. Yes, sometimes I just want to kill him, but I know I’d miss him too much, so I let the moment pass.
Maybe you’re reading this and have just embarked on the whole dating scene as a single parent, or you’ve met someone and are anxious about introducing him to the kids, whatever the circumstances, I hope I’ve helped a little by sharing my story, if you’d like to ask anything else, please leave me a message.
I’ll leave you with a picture of my little family.